Monday, November 1, 2010

Day 1

So here's my first piece, Nov 01, 2010.

I wasn't going to do this. No, I wasn't. I was going to participate in Leah's Art Every Day Month for November 2010 on my own. No blog. No one to know if I stopped or not. I already have a blog that I neglect, why have another? Write a post, scan the drawing, geez, EVERYDAY?!! Who has time?! Not me... Bullsh*t. I easily watch a brain-numbing 2 hours of TV a night. The kid is away at university, condo corp cuts the grass, shovels the snow, cat sleeps most of the time.

Yesterday I rummaged through my letterpress studio for some paper. Found a stack of 40 or so offcuts, about 4" square. Perfect, that was easy, guess I should really do this. Last night as I waited for trick-or-treaters I decided to give one a try. I did a Zentangle. Fun, didn't have to think to hard about that one. Ok, so, I'll do a Zentangle a day if nothing else. Then I drew a lamp in the corner of my living room, then a couple more Zentagles. Maybe I could do this?!? So, today's drawing, you guessed it - a Zentangle! I love doing them, I love b&w and line.

Declare I am artist, huh? Yikes. Sure, I draw a bit, print, knit, sew... but an artist? Well, OK, a graphic artist. I usually qualify it with that. Then I get the "oh, that's so interesting!" comment. "Not really" I say, "Pretty boring, repetitive". Want me to take an someone else's design, lay out a 100+ page document using that design, tables, graphs? I can do that. FAST! Or all those technical papers I churn out? Creative? No. That's why I am here. I am an artist. I AM AN ARTIST. Dammit. I think. I hope...

As a graphic designer/artist my work is always client and solution driven and I find it hard to freestyle and just draw whatever I want. Often I can't make up my mind. I have a collection of images that inspire me, things I want to paint. Hopefully some of them will show up here eventually.

Yesterday afternoon a friend and I were bitching about how much we disliked our respective careers. I met him working at an ad agency years ago, he's now doing a master's program at a local university. One of the most talented, creative, smart, funny people I know. I asked him what he would do, if he could and be successful at. He didn't even have to think. He said "write". I love that it was such an automatic answer! He knows, that's huge. When asked the same thing I saw paint/draw. Also no hesitation but immediately followed by the thought: "yeah, right." Turns out we both have an interest in children's books so we have decided to collaborate and try to have some fun with it. Oh, boy. Came home all excited about it, now I feel confronted. Can't Zentangle my way out of this one!

As I write it is 4:30am. I woke up around 3am, a knot of anxiety in my belly. I don't look forward to going to work. Lots of office politics, one guy got let go, everyone is walking on eggshells, wondering if their job is on the line. Lots going on behind the scenes but not everyone is being let in on it. I am trying to mentally prepare for the possibility of being jobless. Freaked out about the financial implications, excited at the thought of getting out of there, finally. So, 3:30am, still couldn't get back to sleep, so many thoughts, fears. Blogging seemed like a good place to put it all down. Must say, it all sounded so much more clever in my head. Oh well. My apologies if you have actually gotten this far. Hmmm, maybe I am more suited to night pages.

Alright, first drawing DONE and blog entry, DONE. It's now nearly 6am and I'm wide awake. Still. Maybe I will just go lay down, for a bit...

Happy creating...

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